I want to have your abortion
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
