So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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