You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
