Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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