friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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