3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize