I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
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TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
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We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.