We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
