ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
