nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
