How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
