she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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