I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize