Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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