look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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