We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
