they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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