One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
