He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i would punch a child for taco bell
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would ride that face into the sunset
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
