Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
they're like a gay fantastic four
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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