Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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