i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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