We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
