How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
