Define "chronic" masturbator.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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