ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
