I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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