jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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