I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize