I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
