Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
