Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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