It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
