the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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