Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
