Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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