Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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