well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So much rum. So many feels.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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