I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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