You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
