Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
