I cannot find my penis.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
