No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
