Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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