guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
