so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
