we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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