i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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