im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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