you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
