You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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