i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
