And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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