First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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