better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
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There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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